Dating an anxious man
They may ask them to write/vent in any way that they feel comfortable with (if not interpersonal communication right away) so as to initiate an internal dialogue.This internal communication/stream of consciousness is an intrapersonal dialogue that helps them inch closer to challenge their fears and overcome them to meet their primal need for intimacy.
There are two avoidant types – the dismissive-avoidant and the fearful-avoidant.This creates cracks in the relationship, soon widening into rifts that break it up.This serves their fear in good stead, reassuring them of the dangerous nature of intimacy and that they do well to avoid it. Avoiding emotional vulnerability: When all doors for a heart-to-heart are closed or even mere mention of any ‘talk’ that aims to probe deeper is met with a rebuttal, anger, inchoate responses, retaliation or plain withdrawal, one needs to address the elephant in the room. Avoiding physical intimacy: Not wanting to share the same bed, avoiding any form of physical contact, when clubbed with other signs are reasons for worry.This is called an approach-avoidance conflict that results in an intimacy-withdrawal cycle leading to a circling pattern.
This pattern is very common in fearful-avoidants and as such, one finds them engaging in short-lived relationships.The painful memory of their idealized previous relationship that never quite saw its rightful ending makes them tire of a real relationship fairly quickly and they refuse to give it the emotional involvement it demands.