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What they tend to overlook is the fact that betrayal happens on a much more subtle level every day in all of our relationships.Humans are naturally a little bit selfish, and we fade in and out of this slightly narcissistic mode as we go through life.The romantic partner of the woman with traits of BPD will soon find that although she demands complete adherence to the relationship rules from him, she is incapable of holding up her own end of the bargain.Many nice-guy types are willing to accept these flaws.
Surprisingly, relationship skills are linked to a person’s ability to follow the rules.Although the nice-guy/borderline union in theory should work, in reality it is guaranteed to fail. Either the nice-guy type will finally have a momentary lapse of selfishness, which she will experience as a major betrayal, or she will become so overwhelmed by her suspicious nature that that she will convince herself that he has betrayed her.Either way, without an ironclad guarantee that she cannot be hurt, she will be unwilling to trust him again.Just like there is a profile for the borderline personality type, there is also a profile for the kind of man that they often choose to partner with.
The type of personality that so often gets caught up in a relationship with a woman with traits of BPD is what we might call a “nice guy” type.Because of this tendency, our relationships pose a difficult challenge for us.