Midget couple fuck
pm Tucker: Fuck you pm Drunkrex: Im dead serious pm Tucker: I hate you pm Drunkrex: Soylent has a free roundtrip ticket pm Tucker: STOP TEASING He called me a few minutes later, when I was at home, wiping off the sweat and about to cook dinner. I am in Milwaukee with my girlfriend…and there is a midget convention in town this weekend.” Tucker “I got your fucking message.
He likes to play with my emotions, so I never take his text messages seriously: pm Drunk Rex: There is a midget convention at the hilton in milwaukee here with my girlfriend and [soylentgreen] is here too.
That group was me, Drunk Rex, Soylent Green, our female friend Jessie…and three midgets, one female and two male.
Tucker [whispering] “Jessie, there are three midgets with us.” Jessie [normal voice] “I know, I invited them. [pointing at Jess, who is half black, half Italian] Soylent, you think you could set me up with some black pussy?! Goddamn man, that is Afro-Italian pussy…what do you think, I’m running a midget convention whore house special?
As her pigeon-toed feet carried her past my table, I slid down in my chair, hoping to catch her eye.
She looked at me and smiled, her mashed-up teeth sparkling in the oily light of the popcorn machine.
Walk out into the hallway, and do a double take at the FLEET of Rascal scooters in the ballroom lobby (Rascals are those red motorized scooters that you always see old people on in the grocery store). Reeling from this discovery, you head into the ballroom and see approximately FOUR HUNDRED MIDGETS!!! I am honestly not sure how the next part unfolded, but I do know for damn sure I had nothing to do with it.
I called all my best friends, screaming incoherent babbles about sex with little people.At the airport and in line for my ticket, I am forced to fly Midwest Airlines because they are the only airline that cares enough about Milwaukee to fly there. ” Guy “Yes sir, heading home after a vacation.” Tucker “Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? Whatever, they’ve never fucked a midget, they don’t matter. Do they get pissed if you set your drink on top of their head? Do they get to live in those cool apartments with the really low door handles and counters? Since their arms are too short to reach their crotches, how do they wipe? Even more to the point, what do their pussies feel like? Their Miller Lite bottles looked massive as they gripped them with both of their tiny little hands.A very nice, very Midwestern couple is in front of me. The flight was nearly intolerable; my mind was spinning with questions. Their humongous foreheads and brow ridges were raised in excitement as they laughed at a tiny little joke. I think my heart might explode.” Soylent “You are so fucking weird.” Then I saw her: My Midget Princess.Within minutes we were sitting with the little people.
My Midget Princess was at the table, and even though I’d only had like five beers, the room was spinning around her.
If you are lying about this, I don’t think I could handle it.” Male Midget [looking at me like I am some sort of weirdo] “No dude. Everyone is up there.” Do you know what it takes to make me speechless? As much as I would love to tell you a really cool story about how I spent the next hour hitting on all the hot midgets, dancing with them, doing tiny little body shots off tiny little bodies, and tossing midgets all around the hotel, I can’t…because nothing like that happened.