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08-Dec-2019 19:25

But, it wasn’t until my second year of pastoring that I became aware of my loneliness. While sitting in the second chair shielded me from the full burden of the weight of ministry, I still shouldered a great share of the responsibility.I functioned in strategic planning, curriculum and ministry development and filled-in as the youth pastor.Often times, parishioners feel they have a right to access you at any time.Unlike typical eight hour jobs, our professional lives can span from administrative oversight during the day to leading bible study in the evening to weekend leadership retreats or church fairs.Even if a respected senior member lovingly introduced me to their educated, professional, sweet granddaughter, I’d make her acquaintance but move on.

In fact, I’ve often pondered if it’s fair to bring someone into my life knowing the nature of my work and the strain it can place on relationships.Single pastors must consider their dating pool and make a decision that is true to their beliefs.For me, that meant limiting congregational influence on my dating life.I became so exhausted that when asked what line of work I was in, I’d refer to my prior professional work in architecture and urban planning.

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These experiences helped me to see how vocational ministry still carries with it certain privileges, power and respect.

Congregational triangles like these are a detriment to non-biased decision-making and impact the work of ministry overall.

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