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His eyes got the size of softballs and popped out of their sockets, every vein on his head bulged to the point of hem- orrhage, he shot up out of his chair like a pound of C-4 was detonated beneath him, and screamed as if his toupee was ablaze.Mohan stalled at the bottom of the staircase, not understanding why he would be so upset.Had my friends not pushed me from behind, I probably would have just stood there for about a week.It didn’t help that one of the professors started giggling. You might be surprised what lengths people will go to get out of the way of naked college undergraduates.Someone would later describe it as, “like being in a Francis Bacon painting.” I’m still not exactly sure how to take that.Yet, once we hit the second floor, Murphy made his presence known, in an excruciatingly painful manner. With things now running somewhat smoothly, we exited the second floor, leaving the stressed-out law students with something to laugh about, and headed down the main stairway to the first floor.With the security guard and his arthritic knees chasing us through the thirty-yard long Green lounge, the four of us did our best head-down-in-a-dead- sprint to the door at the other end.By the time we made it to the doors, you could have heard a mouse fart in that room.
The average day is so cold and windy that Chilly Willy would get frostbite.We would often go there to study because the tunnel connecting the two buildings would allow us to avoid going out in the cold.I was a freshman at the time, and was nearing the end of my first college semester.YOU ARE READING Non-Fiction Tucker Max’s books—I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, and Hilarity Ensues—are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories.
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They’ve sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Occurred, March 1997 I submitted the essay below as my personal statement in all my law school applications. In fact, it’s this essay that the admissions committee at Duke Law School read, and then decided it made sense to give me an academic scholarship to their institution: “I’ll never forget the day I decided that I wanted to go to law school.Running naked through the law school may not be administration endorsed, but it definitely is not a reason to risk aneurysm.
